Sunday, 29 June 2014

Mad or Bad?

I'm not a psychologist nor a sociologist. I could barely count as it is. But mental illness have always been something I take an interest in. So much so I've been doing some pro-bono work for autistic and down syndrome kids in recent years. But enough about me.

Luis Alberto Suarez Diaz. Love him or hate him, you can't deny he's a football genius. The passion, the skill, the talent: tinged with the occasional bouts of madness. Occasional, fortunately, but mega, unfortunately.

I'm not here to defend him, or to excuse his behaviour. I'm trying to understand the inner turmoil of a flawed genius.

His father deserted the family when he was 7 (or was it 12?) years old. From my observation, most kids from a broken home are damaged in some way. Facing perceived rejection from a parent at an early age is bound to affect you in some way.

Now combine this with acute poverty. The literal hunger, so to speak.

There was a lady in my kampung whose husband deserted her and their 8 kids. She went around with a bowl, asking for beras to feed her kids. Beras! Not dishes. This is real poverty. Not having enough money for food, let alone football boots.

Kau apa tahu? Spender pun mak belikan sampai umur 25 tahun. Entah ke mak basuhkan sekali.

Suarez went through a childhood of  not knowing where his next meal is coming from. It wasn't until he met Sofia, whose parents fed him, that he started to eat regularly.

When Suarez first moved to Montevideo from Salto, people laughed at his kampung accent. That's probably the least of it. And with that teeth, his childhood couldn't have been pretty. Pun intended. 

Lesser people from the same background would probably crumble and join the drug cartel. But this is Suarez. He's not another ordinary kid.

He managed to find love. And what a great love story it is. A love story that catapulted the boy who played ball with no shoes to a world class player who is equally revered and hated.

Kau apa tahu? Jaafar Onn tak follow twt_cinta pun pernah ada awek dan buat anak.


Luisito is only 27. Those fatherless, poverty ridden years are not that long ago.

He could probably still taste the desperation, the literal hunger.

Perhaps deep down he fears having to go back to that kind of poverty. Maybe that is the demon that haunts him when the red mist attacks, spurring him to bite.

Perhaps a part of him feels guilty for doing so well. Perhaps a part of him still sees himself as that poor, jeered kid. Maybe that's why he sabotaged himself.

Or perhaps, as the case is with a lot of  geniuses, he suffers from mild autism, like Asperger. Perhaps that explains why he did what he did without provocation. He was the last of the family to move to Montevideo because he doesn't like change. That's another symptom. A lot of people with such condition go through life undetected, only perceived as 'awkward/difficult' by those around them.

The only flaw with the last theory is, surely by now Zhaf Iqbal and Co would have found out.   

Perhaps it's a combination of all three. The poverty-ridden years, his father's desertion and definitely some form of mental illness issue.

 Like I said earlier, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a star, I don't even have my own car.

I don't have the answers, nor the solutions.

What he did was wrong. But that doesn't discount what a great addition to Liverpool he was.

We could have won the league if he wasn't banned from Ivanovich case. But we also wouldn't have finished No 2 without him in the team.

His teammates like him. He is devoted to his family. In Uruguay, he is Robbie Fowler.

He is not a bad person.

He didn't go around raping your daughter, setting fire to your family home or robbing the post office.

Have some perspective. Have some compassion.

As the great Kenny Dalglish - the most compassionate person in football said: "Some people have injuries we can't see."  

Luka di hati siapa yang tahu?

Whether Suarez stays or not, he will always have a special place in my heart. He will always have my respect as one of the greatest strikers to grace Anfield. He made football fun again. The football world would be a greyer place without Luis Alberto Suarez Diaz on any pitch.

I for one, will always root for him, wherever he plays. And I hope he will be able to put the demon that plagues him away.

Lastly, kan dah cakap, lain kali jangan gigit orang. Panggil c*nt takpe. 

Macai Suarez

*This is a personal view and not representative of anyone else in this blog.

Monday, 27 January 2014

Robbie Fowler - His Legacy

First written: Sunday, 9 November 2008. Reproduced in honour of the anniversary of Robbie Fowler's Second Coming.

Once upon a time, a long, long time ago, Robbie Fowler was caught stealing the hubcabs of a visiting Manchester United bus.

The Bobby, an Everton fan who hated Manures more than he hated Liverpool, told him to disappear quick smart to avoid the gallows.

Herein lies the dilemma. Fowler is revered by many and recognised everywhere. Where could he go?

His father, who was never married to his mother, came up with a solution. "Go to a country where they don't speak English mate".

"But Carra lives right here, Dad."

Robbie was thoroughly confused and went for a walk.

There down the road, he saw a car parked a few doors down from The Rooneys, the brother and sister who married each other and consequently had two ugly sons: John and Wayne. The car was shaking. He peered in and saw a set of dentures on the dashboard.

Thoroughly puzzled, he turned his attention to the back seat and saw a hairy arse bopping away. He knocked on the window and a startled Wayne Rooney turned towards him. Beneath him was an ancient grandma.

She gave Robbie a toothless grin. 'This won't take long. 5 quid and I'm all yours, son. If you want a toothless blowjob, that's extra 5 quid me lad."

Robbie was disgusted. He puked all over Wayne's bald head and pizza face, and ran like he's never ran before, not even when he scored a hattrick against Arsenal in under 5 minutes.

Finally breathless, he stopped in front of a row of shophouses. Catching his breath, he looked up. 'Couscous Algerian Restaurant.'

"Algeria! That's where I'll hide."

He arrived at Algiers Airport the next night. A short cab drive later, he arrived at the town centre. As he wandered around, he happily listened to the noisy Arabic chatter. "No one would know me here"

"Robbie! Robbie Fowler! Robbie Bernard Fowler! GOD!"

Robbie turned around. "What the flying fuc....oh, helloooo"

There stood before him was a vision in white, a creature so exotic, all the WAGS in England, despite their perpetual tanning table tans, paled in comparison.

"My Abuya sent me to London once to learn proper English. But he took me back when he heard David Beckham speak. But I remember you Robbie! I have always worshipped you. I have always wanted to kiss your plastered nose. In my country, we believe people with huge honkers have a huge ..oops " She giggled adoringly while covering her mouth with her fingers.

Robbie was instantly smitten. "Why don't I take you for a drink and tell you all about my huge honkers then?"

They ended up at a dimly lit bar. There, smoking cannabis out of a shishas and drinking goat's milk, Robbie had an epiphany. "I must give this sweet girl the greatest gift of all. I must relieve her of her virginity"

So he took her to back of the pub. And there against a wall, he slipped one up her.

"Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God."

"You don't have to use my middle name darling. Just call me Robbie."

After that memorable night, Robbie went back to England and resume his football career to become one of Liverpool's greatest strikers, known simply as GOD.

Little did he know he has sired a son, who looks exactly like him.

Many, many years later, the son, naturally, grew up to be a footballer too.

And being Robbie's son, last night Samir Nasri-Fowler did his dad proud by scoring two against his dad's most hated team, The Manures.

Moral of the story: Fowler did a great service to ABUs (Anything But United) worldwide for not pulling out in time.

Congrats Arsenal! Ace one

Tuesday, 31 December 2013

STB 2014!

Selamat tahun baru kepada semua peminat-peminat Liverpool dan juga kepada semua orang (kecuali Evra).

Semoga tahun 2014 menjanjikan yang terbaik, tercemerlang, terbilang, tergemilang, terchun dan tergilababibest!

Stay sweet.

#YNWA ./

Friday, 22 November 2013

Malaysia, Harimau Malaya, Harimau Muda.

Nampaknya kerajaan melalui KBS sedang merangka dan tidak lama lagi akan melancarkan satu Pelan Pembangunan Bola Sepak 2014-2020. Bersama pelan itu nanti terdapat beberapa nama yang disebut untuk bakal menganggotai majlis yang akan menjayakan pelan ini.

Memetik dari artikel akhbar Utusan bertarikh 22 Oktober 2013 (klik sini) pelan ini bertujuan untuk, "meningkatkan imej sukan bola sepak negara yang kini menghuni tangga ke-160 dalam ranking Persekutuan Bolasepak Antarabangsa (FIFA)". Pelan ini juga dikatakan akan melihat lebih 10,000 remaja berusia tujuh hingga 17 tahun dilatih di seluruh negara. 

Dalam artikel akhbar yang sama YB menteri KBS juga mengatakan, "pelantikan bekas penolong jurulatih pasukan akademi kelab gergasi Jerman, Bayern Munich bawah 19 tahun, Lim Teong Kim sebagai Pengarah Projek Program Pembangunan Bola Sepak Negara dijangka mampu membawa sinar baharu kepada sukan bola sepak tempatan".


Apa beza "Pelan Pembangunan Bola Sepak 2014-2020" dengan "Pelan Pembangunan Bolasepak Negara"? (klik sini)

Untuk memudahkan kerja, saya akan namakan pelan YB menteri sebagai "pelan B" dan yang satu lagi, "pelan A". 

Dalam laman web "pelan A" tak nampak pun nama Lim Teong Kim sebagai pengarah projek. Mungkin laman web ini belum dikemaskini atau mungkin juga pelan ini pelanduk dua serupa. Mungkin juga "pelan B" ialah sebenarnya "pelan A" yang telah ditukarkan kulit dan akan berlaku sedikit perubahan ahli didalamnya.

Apa pun pelan yang bakal disuapkan kepada kita, saya harap peminat semua faham bahawa kelemahan FAM bukanlah satu-satunya punca kejatuhan mutu bolasepak Malaysia. Saya bagi satu contoh yang mudah. Tak berapa lama dahulu, sahabat saya ada mengesyorkan kepada setiausaha persatuan bolasepak negeri isketambola (bukan nama negeri sebenar) supaya menggunakan teknologi GPS yang boleh mengesan prestasi pemain diatas padang seperti berapa kilometer dia berlari, kadar kerja pemain itu diatas padang dan mengenal pasti kecenderungan pemain untuk cedera, contohnya. Teknologi sebegini bukan lah terlalu mahal dan tidak sukar untuk digunapakai. Pasukan profesional di negara barat sudah lama menggunakan teknologi ini. Setiausaha persatuan bolasepak negeri isketambola tadi tidak menyetujui penggunaan teknologi GPS itu dengan alasan yang berbunyi lebih kurang begini, 

"..malu pemain kalau kita boleh kesan statistik begini. Kita tak boleh malukan pemain." 

Tahukah anda bahawa peruntukan KBS yang disalurkan melalui Majlis Sukan Negara untuk pasukan bolasepak senior kebangsaan setiap tahun sejak tahun 2000 ialah RM300,000 setahun (rujuk artikel akhbar Utusan yang sama)? Jika ditukar kedalam duit England, 60,000 pound sterling. Gaji mingguan untuk Luis Suarez pun lebih dari itu. 

Tahukah anda peruntukan untuk skuad Harimau Muda A dan B untuk 5 tahun (dari 2005 hingga 2009) pula ialah RM5juta? Bermakna, hanya RM500,000 setahun untuk satu skuad. Jika ditukar ke duit England, 100,000 pound sterling. Gaji mingguan Luis Suarez pun lebih dari itu.

FAM ialah "tip of the iceberg" dan peminat bolasepak perlu terima hakikat ini. Banyak lagi faktor seperti sistem pembelajaran, taraf hidup serta budaya masyarakat yang sedikit sebanyak telah mempengaruhi sukan negara secara keseluruhannya. Kita sudah tertinggal jauh dari arus perdana bolasepak antarabangsa dan tidak keterlaluan sekiranya saya nyatakan bahawa untuk kembali mengejar mereka dipersada antarabangsa adalah amat sukar. 

Oleh itu, jangan lah ultras marah pada saya jika saya tak turut bersama mereka menyanyi kan lagu "FAM bangsat" di stadium kerana bagi saya kelemahan FAM hanya 30% dari masalah yang perlu kita selesaikan. Pendekatan saya berbeza dari mereka. Salah kah?

Namun begitu ramai yang nampaknya gembira dengan YB menteri KBS dalam usahanya memartabatkan kembali bolasepak Malaysia menerusi "pelan B" ini. Sejujurnya saya tak berapa nak gembira sangat. Patutnya janganlah biarkan orang politik pula yang kuasai bolasepak Malaysia. Ibarat keluar mulut buaya, masuk mulut naga. 

Tak nampakkah kita bahawa perebutan ini kerana mahukan kuasa dan pengaruh. Nanti gajah sama gajah bergaduh, bolasepak kita mati kat tengah-tengah.

Monday, 8 July 2013

Sedikit sejarah

Selepas Warrior memperkenalkan jersi away dan 3rd kit untuk musim terbaru, saya amat optimis bahawa inilah antara ciptaan terbaik dalam lipatan sejarah peradaban manusia. Dengan keyakinan yang tinggi ini, saya berani jamin inilah jersi paling cemerlang untuk digunakan ketika Hari Raya Aidilfitri nanti.

Saya juga amat yakin jika anak anda memakai mana-mana jersi yang disebut di atas, mereka akan mendapat duit raya lebih dari tuan rumah.

Persoalannya, apakah jersi yang terburuk pernah dicipta oleh manusia? Kelab bangang mana?

Untuk itu, saya pun menjalankan kajian. Di bawah ini adalah 10 jersi terburuk (bola sepak) yang saya nyatakan tadi.

Manchester United Home shirt 1984-1986
Manchester United away shirt 1990-1992

Manchester United Home shirt  1992-1993
Manchester United Away shirt 1992-1993 
Manchester United Away shirt 1993-1995

Manchester United Home jersey 1996-1997

Manchester United Away 1996/97

Manchester United  European shirt 1997-1999
Manchester United Home shirt 2006-2007
Manchester United Away shirt 2007-2008

Celakaaaa apahal buruk sangat semua ni?

Geram betul aku nak delete balik artikel bermanfaat ni.