Thursday, 7 June 2012

Why every team needs a Djimi Traore

Alright. Calm down! Just because I watch footie for the blokes doesn't mean I didn't notice how gobshite Traore was.

Make no mistake. He was gobshite. We know it. His team-mates (or team partners according to Suarez) know it. Everyone and their grandmother know it. Not sure if Djimi himself knows he's gobshite though. He does have more CL medal than the short twat who went to the dark side to warm their bench, after all.

Anyway, back to why every team needs a Djimi Traore in their midst.

Everyone and their dog know Traore used to be the biggest gobshite ever to wear the red jersey.

Hence, Traore was a threat. A huge threat!

In fact, you could say Traore used to be our Fear Factor.

See, this is how it used to work.

When Rafa put Traore on the bench, players get scared.

Extremely scared.

Just the sight of Traore lurking on the bench, ready to take over your place, would make even someone like Lazy Andy plays harder.

Now, if they are still slacking, all Rafa had to do was make Traore go and warm up

This would put the fear of  Robbie Fowler on any player and push them to the edge, make them give the best performance of their life.

Cause no one, but no one, wanted to be substituted for Traore.

Cause you know if you were to be substituted for Traore, you are an even bigger gobshite! Your humiliation would be complete.

So in effect, Traore was a huge motivator. Which is why he is a legend in his own lunchtime. And he deserves the three medals he had.

Having said that, having 3 Traores in the form of the Three Stooges - Hendo, Downing and Frodo - may be a bit too much though.


  1. Ahaha. D horror of being subs by traore.